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I've heard a lot about the "swinging" lifestyle ... but what exactly does it entail?

If this is your introduction to swinging, allow me to be the first to congratulate you. You are about to embark on an exciting, sexually enlightening, and extremely fulfilling journey. To be honest, I envy you to a certain degree. Those first weeks and months swinging are going to be some of the best of your life.

I don't want to imply that it gets less exciting as time goes on, though, because it most certainly does not. In fact, that is one of the best aspects of swinger clubs and swinging, in general ... it never gets old! I don't care if it is your 5th or 50th time walking into a swingers club -- you are going to have a good time with fellow sexy couples and singles.

Before we delve into the specifics of what to expect when visiting a swingers club, what the rules and etiquette may look like (these are especially important in this specific lifestyle), and how to navigate this particular culture with grace and aplomb, first let's talk about what swinging is.

As a lifestyle that has been around for quite some time now, it deserves the respect, I think, of understanding the history before calling up the first swingers club we find and registering as a member.

Swinging is also sometimes referred to as "husband swapping," "wife swapping," or, simply, "partner swapping." Typically, this lifestyle involves 2 or more couples that are in committed relationships and all enthusiastically consent to having sex or engaging in some recreational way with new partners. Swinging is, by definition, a form of nonmonogamy, and swingers are, by definition, in open relationships.

The difference, however, between typical nonmonogamy and swinging is the mutual aspect of it. In a non-monogamous relationship in which the couples do not swing, dating outside of the relationship is done independently of the partner.

In other words, if you were in an open relationship, you would go out on dates with other people (without your polyamorous significant other). Whether you discuss the dates after the fact with your partner, of course, depends on the particular open relationship in question.

Swingers take this to a new level. Not only do they discuss their polyamorous relations with one another, they often partake in sexual activity with other people in front of one another. The lifestyle can take many shapes and forms.

Not all swingers, for instance, swap partners in the same room. Some go to a party or a club with an understanding that they will go off into private rooms with others and have sex; some have a standing invitation for their partner to join whenever he or she desires.

There are infinite ways in which this can play itself out at clubs and parties, and it all depends on the individuals within the couple (and, of course, the boundaries and limitations of anyone else involved).

Why do people choose to swing?

The reasons behind adopting the swinger lifestyle or visiting what is sometimes called a "lifestyle club" are multifold. In fact, I would venture to say that every couple considers or enacts this for their own unique reasons. It would be hard to apply any kind of blanket statement to why couples turn to swinging.

Some simply want to improve the quantity and quality of sex that they have. The lifestyle has been a salve for many couples as far as enhancing or improving sexual satisfaction is concerned.

If you are a hardline monogamist, it may be hard to imagine how having sex with other people (or letting your partner have sex with other people) could, indeed, save a relationship. But if you have, at one point or another, at least to a certain degree entertained the idea of an open relationship, you can probably see how this could be beneficial.

Many couples have said that joining such clubs and expanding their sexual horizons has allowed for a new level of closeness previously unattained in their relationships. There is a certain deep honesty that comes with this lifestyle.

You can't go to a lifestyle club as a couple, watch each other have sex with other partners (maybe even join in) and not feel a profoundly transcendent level of honesty with your partner after the fact. I think that a lot of couples tend to keep their own sexual fantasies private to themselves.

At the end of the day, though, we all want to sleep with other people from time to time, it is human nature. Pairs that embrace this fact together often benefit from a renewed sense of closeness and trust. Many also find that they enjoy a revitalized sense of sexual excitement together. Every couple joins a lifestyle club, though, for different reasons, and every couple benefits differently.

Becoming a swinger is certainly not for everyone. If you are the jealous type -- surprise, surprise -- you probably won't enjoy watching or allowing your partner to have sex with other people. I would advise you to think long and hard before joining a lifestyle club.

You're going to want to have multiple serious and in-depth discussions with your partner. It is crucial that you are on exactly the same page before you play. Enthusiastic consent is the bedrock of this lifestyle. Everybody has to be not only willing but excited and open to the experience for it to work as intended.

Can I just walk into any swingers club I like? Are there any rules?

Although the protocol and requirements are bound to differ at various clubs, generally speaking, entry into swingers clubs is reserved for members only. Most swinger and sex clubs are likely to have fairly strict rules and registration processes that must be adhered to and met prior to ever entering the club.

These rules and membership requirements to join might be slightly different from one club to the next, but, typically speaking, they tend to be something like the following:

1. Everybody must be 18 years old or older.

This is a given. I don't see any need to elaborate on this very straightforward rule.

2. Even though clubs are often populated by mostly couples (and they register for membership together), single women are allowed to join.

3. Single men are not allowed to join.

This one makes a lot of sense if you think about it, too. Take a moment to consider how overpopulated swingers cubs would be with single men hoping to get in on some orgy action if they were allowed to join. It would throw off the ratio entirely. So, sorry, single guys, you aren't going to have much luck joining most clubs.

4. All members must be 100% healthy and clean.

You must not enter a club if you have a cold, flu, or, of course, any kind of STD. Some clubs reserve the right to require their members to provide STD test results. Most don't. When you visit a sex party, naturally, you want to be assured that you will have no chance of catching anything.

5. No film or video recording is allowed in most clubs.

Again, this is a sex club for swingers, not a porn studio. Nobody, especially the women, wants to worry about being photographed or recorded while they party. The whole point of such a club is so that people can have a safe space to explore and play with others.

6. No means no, every and all the time.

Being a member of a swingers club means being respectful of other peoples' boundaries. If somebody doesn't want to play, you have to understand that and back off. Don't pressure women (or men), don't badger anybody.

When approaching the men and women of the club, be nice and respectful. Maintaining a healthy and happy swingers club can be a delicate dance. Just be a good person and everything should go smoothly.

This is just a shortlist of some of the rules you may encounter at a club. Of course, always adhere to the specific rules of your club, always respect peoples' privacy and boundaries, and always come ready to have some fun with other like-minded men and women!

When I visit a swingers club, can I have sex with as many women as I want?

As long as the women in question are interested in having sex with you, sure. That's kind of the idea. However, as we just outlined, consent is king in a club like this. If you are trying to have sex with a girl and she doesn't seem into it, leave her alone.

Also, you're likely to have more sex (and better sex) if you don't just approach a girl and say, "Hey, wanna go back into one of the private rooms and have sex?" Just because you are in a swingers club does not mean that you should lose all tact.

You should still seduce all of the women that you want to have sex with at the club. Ask them to have a drink with you at the bar, talk to them, maybe invite them to dance. Keep in mind, a sex party is still a party. Show the ladies a good time before trying to lure them into a back room.

A dance, for instance, is a fantastic way to engage somebody in conversation, get to know them a little bit, and initiate physical intimacy as well, all at the same time. Whether you are in the bar, on the dance floor, or in a private room, communication is always key at a swingers club.

Can I say "no" in a lifestyle club?

Absolutely, you can. This is, as I have said before, the most important component of a club like this. Once again, communication and conversation are critical. Your ability to say "no," and to have your boundaries heard and respected is the bedrock of a place like this. It is woven directly into the premise and the ethos of the lifestyle itself.

I hate to generalize, but swingers are, as a group of people, very good at honoring the limitations and boundaries of others. It is part and parcel of everything that goes on here. Yes, having a bit of sexy fun and enjoying a party lifestyle with like-minded friends is also a crucial element, but enthusiastic consent always comes first.

Not only can you say "no" to something that you don't care to do, but you can say it at any time, no matter how far along you have gotten with somebody (or bodies).

It ain't a real party, after all, unless everybody is having fun and on the same page!

Does it cost anything to join swingers clubs?

You bet it does! Luckily, though, most clubs aren't going to charge you per night. Nor do you usually have to pay to attend specific events or parties. Once you are a member, you are free to do as you wish.

You can visit any events and parties the club throws (assuming that they are not private events), you can watch, you can hang out at the bar, you can stay in a private room with a couple all night if you like ... it's completely up to you.

That being said, most clubs require their members to pay annual membership fees. These clubs are definitely not free. Well, unless you are a single lady, that is. Single women are usually allowed free entrance.

As we already covered single men are not allowed at all, but the prices for couples vary quite a bit depending on which club you would like to become a member of and where it happens to be located. These prices are also likely to vary depending on what nights you wish to be allowed entry.

The most popular night for parties is either Friday or Saturday. Therefore, Friday and Saturday night cover fees are the most expensive. However, you and your partner are not likely to break the bank at most establishments.

On average, for a Friday or Saturday night, you are looking at probably paying something in the neighborhood of $50 to enter. This usually comes with access to the buffet and a free welcome drink at the bar.

These Friday and Saturday night entry fees, of course, are to be added onto whatever your preferred club asks for in yearly membership fees. Each club will have its own fee, but I don't think you'll ever come across one that offers free membership.

Then, reserving private parties and events, where only your friends are welcome, have their own unique price tags as well. When deciding on which club to become a member of, it is a good idea to look into all of these things before making a decision.

How do I know which club is the best for me and my partner?

That's the thing ... it can be difficult to discern which establishment will be best for you ahead of time. I would keep an ear open, perhaps you'll hear another couple talking about their spot. You can also find plenty of local lifestyle groups on social media sites and elsewhere online, of course. The only resource, though, that you will ever really need is SexAdvisor.com.

I have put in long hours of work to compile a list of the best lifestyle clubs in the world. What's more, there are hundreds of them for you to choose from. Each club is reviewed by people who have been there, and you can find all the information on any club that you could ever hope for right here, including pictures (of the atmosphere and the club itself, not people), links, addresses, directions, and hours of operation. A quick search is all it takes and you can be having sexy fun with sexy friends this Saturday.

I wish you (and your partner) the best of luck in finding the perfect club for you. I hope that you have plenty of fun with plenty of people and many unforgettable nights.

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