Okay, you have my attention ... what is an erotic massage?

We've all seen erotic massages go down in porn videos, right? Even if you weren't aware of it, I'm sure you've seen it at one point or another. There are countless videos, which can be found on just about every tube site (like PornHub, RedTube, xHamster, and the like) that probably do a much better job at demonstrating precisely what an erotic massage is. If you don't believe me, just search "erotic massage" on PornHub and browse the thousands upon thousands of free porn video hits that come up.

Each video will likely have hundreds of thousands of views, making erotic massage one of the most popular pornographic categories on the web. You'll probably even be able to find entire channels dedicated to the category, as well as many of your favorite pornstars enacting the fantasy of what an erotic massage could be. A word of caution, though: the massage videos (and almost every video found in related searches) don't always give the most realistic portrayal of what an erotic massage will actually be like.

Erotic massage video views vs. reality: Facts and fictions

When we watch an adult video, most of us expect sex to occur at some point, right? That's kind of the whole point for the average adult video viewer. No matter what channels you subscribe to, which pornstars you return to most frequently, or which categories/related searches that you tend to conduct, for many of us, the endgame of a pornographic video is almost always to watch people having sex, and then fantasize that we are the ones having sex.

Therefore, as one might expect, a lot of massage videos (at least those with the most views) are going to end in penetrative sex -- even if this isn't necessarily always the case at real-life erotic massage parlors. What is much more likely to happen is this: you will lie down on a massage table, receive a normal massage, and then, gradually, the masseuse will work her (or his) hands toward your erogenous zones (read: genitals). There is probably going to be plenty of sensual oil involved and 9 times out of 10 you will be brought to climax.

I'm sure you have heard the term "happy ending massage" before. Well, that's it in a nutshell (pun intended). However, this is not the only kind of erotic massage that exists. There are many different forms and types, some of which we will cover in more depth a little later on in this article.

I can't imagine a video of an erotic massage in which only the massage itself took place garnering tons of views. It would basically be a handjob video (and handjob videos don't tend to get the same kinds of views as traditional pornos).

Sure, there are some more niche videos and channels out there where this may happen, but they don't come anywhere near gaining the same number of views as a high-quality free video of a massage that ends in sex.

So, today, I would like to talk about the fact and fiction of erotic massage. What is an erotic massage really like, and how is an erotic massage portrayed in adult videos?

I've noticed that in porn videos, it is almost always a girl receiving the massage ... Are they only for girls?

This is probably one of the biggest falsehoods when it comes to erotic massage. Naturally, the videos that receive the most views are the ones that predominantly showcase the female form (at least if we're talking about the numbers of hetero views, that is, which apply to a huge percentage of videos on the web). However, this is far from the reality of erotic massage establishments.

Overwhelmingly, the majority of erotic massages that take place in the real world are nothing like the videos that have the highest numbers of views. What happens far more frequently, in reality, is a man receiving an erotic massage from a woman.

There are, of course, gay massage parlors, too ... it's the 21st century, all sexual appetites are easily enough sated. The short of it, though, is this: even though the videos with the most views depict a beautiful woman getting oiled up and massaged by a man (who eventually has sex with her), men can (and often do) find themselves on the receiving end of an erotic massage. That being said, if you are a woman in the market for an erotic massage, I am very confident that you'll have no problem finding one either!

What does an erotic massage look like then?

We have already established that your erotic massage probably won't be quite like the videos on the web. That begs the question, though, what will your erotic massage actually look like?

Well, the typical scenario looks a little something like this: you will enter the massage parlor for your appointment. You'll probably be asked to wait in the waiting room while the masseuse prepares for you. The massage parlor will, hopefully, have a very relaxing and zen ambiance to it (but this isn't always the case, sometimes erotic massage parlors can look quite sterile or more like an office than anything else).

Once your masseur is ready for you, she will come out and bring you back to her room, which almost certainly will be extremely relaxing. Expect low lighting, aromatherapy candles, oils, and sensual decor. From there, you may be asked to take off your clothes and lie down on the massage table. Maybe she will lay a towel down over your genitals (maybe not).

From there, she will probably begin by massaging your back, shoulders, neck, maybe she will go down to your butt, removing the towel slightly for the first time. Maybe she will move down to rub the backs of your legs, your hips, the other sides of your legs, teasing you a bit. Depending on how long of a massage you paid for, she may go on like this for 45 minutes or so (assuming you paid for an hour).

At some point, though, she will invite you to flip over to your back. This is when the magic happens. She may start by rubbing your chest, your stomach, and moving down to your groin, slowly. When she asks to remove the towel, say "yes" (duh!), and indulge in your happy ending. It will be an incredible experience, I promise.

Is erotic massage legal, or what?

Well, it is honestly very difficult for me to answer this question without knowing where you live. Paying for an erotic massage, as far as I know, would fall under the category of soliciting prostitution (even if it's light prostitution). So, if prostitution is illegal in your country or state, chances are this kind of massage will not be legal either.

If you live in the United States, I am truly sorry. You probably will be hard-pressed to find a good erotic massage parlor (not that there aren't sites out there to help you out). Throughout most of the US, though, prostitution is highly illegal. In fact, I believe it is only legal in one state -- Nevada -- and, even still, only in certain rural counties.

It is often thought that prostitution is legal in Las Vegas, but this is not the case, actually. If you happen to be in Vegas (or visiting Vegas), in order to get yourself an erotic massage, you will have to travel quite a way outside of the Vegas county limits. I don't doubt that you'll be able to find a decent massage out there, but I would be shocked if it came anywhere close to the quality of massage that you'd get in a European country wherein there are no legal limitations on prostitution. Either way, though, search through my list of the best erotic massage parlors today no matter where you happen to live -- I bet you'll be able to find something!

For those of you who live in countries that do not discriminate against the sex industry, though, get excited ... there are plenty of adult massage parlors featured in my list that you'll definitely want to check out! These massages may not always end in sex, like the videos with thousands of views do, but this is also not outside of the realm of possibility. It really all depends on the parlor and the masseuse in question.

I can tell you one thing for certain, though: videos and numbers of views aside, you will definitely leave that parlor satisfied! Even if you don't get laid after your massage is over, you will definitely get some kind of happy ending, this much I can guarantee.

How much does it cost to get an erotic massage?

As I'm sure you could assume, the price of an erotic massage can vary quite a bit from one parlor to another. One thing remains constant, though: there is no such thing as a free erotic massage (well, unless you were to date a masseuse, I guess).

The cost of an erotic massage can range anywhere from, say, $60 an hour to $400. What you pay is going to depend not only on the massage parlor in question but the masseuse and what kinds of services she offers as well. If your massage does lead to sex (as it does so often in the videos), you can expect to pay a bit on the higher end.

The price will also depend on what kind of massage you get. Most masseurs offer a wide range of massage styles. You could get a traditional Swedish massage, for instance, with a happy ending to wrap things up. You might find a masseuse who offers Thai massage with a little something special for you. Or perhaps your searches for an erotic massage service provider might lead you to the wonderful world of Nuru massage.

What is Nuru massage, you ask? Well, it is one of the most popular and titillating of all erotic massage options. Instead of a standard back rub that leads to a happy ending, Nuru massage providers lube you (and themselves) up with special, extra slick massage oil and then rub their naked bodies against yours.

It is highly erotic, and one of the most exclusive and high-quality sexual massages you will ever receive in your life. Seriously, I highly recommend getting a Nuru massage if possible. Plus, as you might assume, seeing as your naked bodies are already rubbing against each other, Nuru massages are much more likely to end in sex than a typical happy ending erotic massage. You will pay a little bit more, sure, but, trust me, it will be worth every penny. Be careful, though, Nuru massages can be quite addicting!

Why would I get an erotic massage instead of just ordering an escort or visiting a brothel?

Well, there are many reasons why a person would prefer to get a massage instead of paying to have sex with an escort or prostitute. For one thing, erotic massages are much cheaper than paying an escort for her services or visiting a brothel. For a fraction of the price, you can have almost the same level of release and stress relief. I mean, at the end of the day, an orgasm is an orgasm, right?

In addition to the costliness of it, erotic massages provide a vastly different level of relaxation and release than having sex does. Even with the most generous prostitute or escort, you still have to do some of the work. Even if she is on top the whole time, chances are you'll want to gyrate your hips, move her in certain ways, maybe thrust, etc. An erotic massage doesn't require anything from you but to lie down, relax, and let your masseur's magic fingers do all the work.

It is an experience of pure bliss, comfort, and relaxation. It is nothing short of euphoric. If you truly want to pamper yourself, an erotic massage is one of the best options out there. Not only will you get that ultimate release that we are always searching for, the orgasm, but you will actually receive a full-blown massage beforehand (get it, before ... hand?) as well.

It is true that some escorts and prostitutes may offer you a massage before you get it on, but these girls are nowhere near as skilled as an erotic masseuse. Many providers of erotic massages are (or were) licensed masseurs, which means that they really know their stuff. If you are looking for the ultimate stress reliever, finding the best erotic massage parlor should be high up on your list of priorities. Your tense muscles and your sexual tension will both be taken care of by a true professional.

What can I expect when I visit one of the massage parlors listed here?

You can expect to be made to feel amazing, relieved, refreshed, and rejuvenated. Every experience, of course, is different. But I haven't heard a story of a happy ending that didn't, well, have a happy ending!

Even though the videos with the most views aren't necessarily accurate to what a massage like this will look like, there are more realistic videos out there. They will likely have significantly fewer views, but if you want a good idea of what to expect, take a look at some of these videos.

Maybe try searching "happy ending massage" since the algorithms do tend to favor the videos with the most views. I believe you can also sort your search results for this kind of thing, too. Point is, there are plenty of videos out there. If you're still unsure of what it will be like, check some of those videos out.

However, it's pretty straightforward if you live somewhere that allows for sex work. Just pick a massage parlor from my list of the best in the world, go to one nearby, and enjoy!